[ it's hard to resist the urge to just hang up on the phone so he could gather his thoughts. Bigby's dealt with a lot and the accident still plays back in his mind every other ten minutes as if it just happened. not only that, but he hasn't been able to smoke cigarettes since close to a week ago, leaving him depraved of nicotine during a time where he would need it most. add the weird notes and secrets being passed around willy nilly and he just wants to sleep until Retrospec is no longer a thing.
but nope. Elizabeth is going to pile onto it, and worse yet, it's about something that's happened days ago. ]
Let me get this straight. This horrific-ass scar that has never once been seen on your back in the number of years I've been with you ― close to two fucking decades, Liz ― and you decide not to tell me because you were ― what did you say, scared?
[ Bigby takes a deep breath before he continues. ]
You gave me shit about getting involved in a car accident and not telling you the moment it happened. You yelled at me for walking into our house busted to all hell without so much as calling you. I felt like a dick and took my blows, but you apparently had this going on the entire time!?
[ there's bound to be other people in his office looking at him awkwardly, so he excuses himself to go outside. he needs some fresh air anyway. ]
[ She shouldn't pile this on him after the accident, but she realized she was a hypocrite. How she so openly yelled about his disregard and headstrong approach post car accident.
His words are not gentle, but they're not full of rage. They're well-thought out. Calculated because it made sense. Elizabeth was scared to tell him — to fill Jade with more fear that something like this could happen to her as well.
As he barks his distraught words, she just takes it. ]
Yes. That — that about sums it up. Scared.
[ She doesn't defend herself and as he brings the issue to a head, she tries to keep a straight and steady voice. ]
A few days. [ She tries to correct, but knows she doesn't need to deflect. ] I needed to see if I can find answers. Medically and just... in general. It's a healed wound, according to Grell. I couldn't just bring it up like it was me skinning my knees, Bigby. If I didn't have answers, I didn't want to bring it up to you.
[ Bigby's pacing up and down the sidewalk after he's moved far enough away from the station to avoid anyone stupid enough to be nosy and listen in on his conversation. he's already been forced to watch what he talks about with Retrospec when at work, having been lectured by his captain and just about any other superior in the office. he doesn't know how his wife would react to his emotional response and didn't really care to be concerned, honestly.
that is, up until the point where she basically kills him with kindness. she may be able to hear him growl with frustration as she explains herself, but he doesn't cut her off. he doesn't add fuel to a fire that he's gone and started. if Bigby cared to think about it, he would have likely put himself in her shoes. maybe realize he would have been just as tight-lipped if something randomly appeared on his body that was... traumatizing, to say the least. he's willing to listen, but he isn't that open-minded. no, no. ]
This is fucking ridiculous. [ the fact that Grell's known and not told him makes him even more frustrated. ] Does our daughter know, too? Please don't tell me I'm the last one who's told. Please. [ because then that means Jade is even better at lying than she has been as of late, which is another issue altogether. Bigby wants to pinch his nose in frustration but lacks the extra arm to do so, so he contends with kicking his shoe into the pavement. ]
So did you find answers? Do we know if it might be some kind of... condition? Any other symptoms? You better not have been sick this whole time too, I swear to―
No! She doesn't! [ She grits her teeth, hissing a bit with her words. ] With everything else going on with this stupid app and the horses — let her keep thinking that is the only thing going on.
[ She defends herself with a bit of feistiness. She did that one purposefully, to keep Jade protected. ]
I told Grell because she's familiar with medical conditions. I didn't want anything documented. I didn't want questions being raised when I don't have any answers, Bigby.
[ When Bigby thinks it's a condition she feels sick. It's not. She knows that as much. ]
I'm not contagious, if that's what you're wondering. Waking up with this thing on my back is the first thing of bullshit I've had to deal with. Grell said it's a wound. Some sort of — of spinal tap... but far too high for it. Looked deep enough that it reached my spine but...
[ There's silence. Around 5 seconds before she speaks.. ]
...but it's almost healed, baby. That takes time — weeks, months maybe... but..
[ She wants to choke back a sob, but instead she just puts on her bravest face. ]
I don't remember what it is, when I got this wound or where it's from...
Until she finds out. Good luck explaining this shit when that happens.
[ Bigby's mad that he hadn't noticed how distant she's been up until this point. how she's always faced him when she was undressing or declining to shower together for the past week. thinking back on it only makes him tighten his fist around the phone pressed against his ear, to the point of where he could hear stress applied to the sturdy metal. ]
And did Grell get you the answers you needed? Hm? Sounds like you're just as clueless as you were when you went to her. Getting in a car accident and dislocating my shoulder is a whole lot more reasonable to show you at the end of the night than a fucking hole in your back a week later. Or longer. Who the hell knows.
[ she talks of "contagious" and he just sputters his lips in disbelief. Elizabeth should know better than to think he's worried about getting sick or infected as a result of being close to her. there's a million things he would like to spit out in response, but he decides to give her time to say her piece. when she talks about how much it has been seemingly healing, he can just be heard sighing right into the phone for an extended period of time. ]
This city is going crazy. I was joking earlier, but we need to seriously pack our bags up and move the fuck out. Screw house hunting here.
[ at least he's dialed back on chewing her a new one. for now. consider it an intermission. ]
[ There's silence on her end. Every time she opens her lips to try and formulate a rebuttal, she fails. This was all in their best interest, but it turns out it was the worst outcome. She feels Bigby's cold shoulder, as if he was born from the cold itself. :) Elizabeth lets him continue on and she immediately erupts — ]
I doubt whatever happened to me was a cause of this city. You can't go blame a construct for ... for whatever is going on. [ Elizabeth likes it here — it's the only place that felt like home. She was always finding small businesses that she didn't recall or getting lost in the city. It was like permanent wanderlust. It was definitely more to her than just a city. ] Unless you plan on sending us to Paris, moving out of the city isn't the answer. We don't — we don't even know the market outside of Recollé!
[ Why are they arguing about this. Elizabeth realizes how silly it sounds. ]
I messed up, Bigby. It wouldn't be the first time. I make mistakes and — I was just scared. If you want to pin me to a cross, fine, but how would you have reacted if I woke you up in the morning and showed you this... hideous thing on my back?
[ part of him is going to be feeling hella bad about tearing Elizabeth a new one when she was just trying to spare him further pain. but the other part of him is reasonably upset that she thought she was doing anyone any favors. the worst part is that she's apologizing, not adamantly standing up for the reason as to why she did it all. she knows she messed up and he doesn't cut her a break.
eh. it's Bigby she is dealing with. she had to have expected this to a degree. ]
This city and this goddamn, stupid fucking app. You're trying to tell me this isn't connected to the other people talking about remembering weird shit? [ and he hasn't even been made aware of the Striders and their eyes all morphing to different colors. or Grell's, for that matter. funny that the detective is being left out of EVERYTHING. >:( ] We don't know where this ends. We still have no idea what even caused the blackout that caused the accident in the first place. But whatever you say, Liz. Sounds like nothing but excuses to me.
[ that was said with a particular bite in his words. sorry, bb. she talks of being scared and apologizing and he tries to compose himself for the umpteenth time. it's tough, grasping his emotions when he's been frustrated at any and everything for the past week. ]
No way of telling, sweetheart. That's not how things played out. I instead found out over the phone at least a week later.
[ It hurts. She wants to know what the hell's going on too — she agrees with Bigby in that regard but this city was her second chance. It was her home and she isn't going to run away. It's not the right time to do it.
As Bigby says they're excuses, she's silent. ]
Right. You're right.
[ She should have told him and that reality sinks against her chest. She isn't crying, nothing like that but she feels as if she truly did something she regrets. She can't take it back and there is no "what if" in this scenario. ]
It was wrong of me to keep it to myself when you could have helped. Found an answer together.
[ He's frustrated and she's trying to accept her responsibility. ]
[ Bigby hates yelling at Liz. he yells at virtually everyone in his life but has always made a special exception when it comes to his wife and daughter. in the past month, he's yelled at both of them. maybe not directly to Jade, but she sure as hell felt the brunt of his anger when it came to Tablegate 2017. now it was Elizabeth's chance to feel it dealt out to her, which is just. unfortunate. for all parties involved.
this conversation exhausts him to an undeniable degree. almost more than the accident and everything that followed. he isn't tired of talking to Elizabeth, but he sure as shit is tired of feeling like this way already. ]
I'm not... I'm not doing or saying this shit to bury you any deeper. I know this affects you more than me. I just― fuck.
[ another moment or three of silence. ]
Let's go out for dinner tonight. You and me. We need to talk with less... this going on. As long as you still have an appetite, I mean.
[ just one last prod at her thinking he was referring to her as "contagious". please. ]
[ They had been through worse and this is what Elizabeth feels she has to find out alone? It ate her up for the short few days that she couldn't tell him. The fear she had when she was taking a shower, worried he'd see it and rise questions. So... this is how it happens — a spur of the moment confession. ]
You're worried. You don't have answers and I didn't think you would. No one does. I'm not exactly proud of what happened, but... I'm not going to make excuses and fight you on it. You're understandably upset. I'd be so furious if the roles were reversed.
[ They're quiet and Bigby's suggestion of dinner nearly makes her choke on her words - ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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but nope. Elizabeth is going to pile onto it, and worse yet, it's about something that's happened days ago. ]
Let me get this straight. This horrific-ass scar that has never once been seen on your back in the number of years I've been with you ― close to two fucking decades, Liz ― and you decide not to tell me because you were ― what did you say, scared?
[ Bigby takes a deep breath before he continues. ]
You gave me shit about getting involved in a car accident and not telling you the moment it happened. You yelled at me for walking into our house busted to all hell without so much as calling you. I felt like a dick and took my blows, but you apparently had this going on the entire time!?
[ there's bound to be other people in his office looking at him awkwardly, so he excuses himself to go outside. he needs some fresh air anyway. ]
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His words are not gentle, but they're not full of rage. They're well-thought out. Calculated because it made sense. Elizabeth was scared to tell him — to fill Jade with more fear that something like this could happen to her as well.
As he barks his distraught words, she just takes it. ]
Yes. That — that about sums it up. Scared.
[ She doesn't defend herself and as he brings the issue to a head, she tries to keep a straight and steady voice. ]
A few days. [ She tries to correct, but knows she doesn't need to deflect. ] I needed to see if I can find answers. Medically and just... in general. It's a healed wound, according to Grell. I couldn't just bring it up like it was me skinning my knees, Bigby. If I didn't have answers, I didn't want to bring it up to you.
[ A pause. ]
But, I have to. I needed to.
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that is, up until the point where she basically kills him with kindness. she may be able to hear him growl with frustration as she explains herself, but he doesn't cut her off. he doesn't add fuel to a fire that he's gone and started. if Bigby cared to think about it, he would have likely put himself in her shoes. maybe realize he would have been just as tight-lipped if something randomly appeared on his body that was... traumatizing, to say the least. he's willing to listen, but he isn't that open-minded. no, no. ]
This is fucking ridiculous. [ the fact that Grell's known and not told him makes him even more frustrated. ] Does our daughter know, too? Please don't tell me I'm the last one who's told. Please. [ because then that means Jade is even better at lying than she has been as of late, which is another issue altogether. Bigby wants to pinch his nose in frustration but lacks the extra arm to do so, so he contends with kicking his shoe into the pavement. ]
So did you find answers? Do we know if it might be some kind of... condition? Any other symptoms? You better not have been sick this whole time too, I swear to―
no subject
[ She defends herself with a bit of feistiness. She did that one purposefully, to keep Jade protected. ]
I told Grell because she's familiar with medical conditions. I didn't want anything documented. I didn't want questions being raised when I don't have any answers, Bigby.
[ When Bigby thinks it's a condition she feels sick. It's not. She knows that as much. ]
I'm not contagious, if that's what you're wondering. Waking up with this thing on my back is the first thing of bullshit I've had to deal with. Grell said it's a wound. Some sort of — of spinal tap... but far too high for it. Looked deep enough that it reached my spine but...
[ There's silence. Around 5 seconds before she speaks.. ]
...but it's almost healed, baby. That takes time — weeks, months maybe... but..
[ She wants to choke back a sob, but instead she just puts on her bravest face. ]
I don't remember what it is, when I got this wound or where it's from...
no subject
[ Bigby's mad that he hadn't noticed how distant she's been up until this point. how she's always faced him when she was undressing or declining to shower together for the past week. thinking back on it only makes him tighten his fist around the phone pressed against his ear, to the point of where he could hear stress applied to the sturdy metal. ]
And did Grell get you the answers you needed? Hm? Sounds like you're just as clueless as you were when you went to her. Getting in a car accident and dislocating my shoulder is a whole lot more reasonable to show you at the end of the night than a fucking hole in your back a week later. Or longer. Who the hell knows.
[ she talks of "contagious" and he just sputters his lips in disbelief. Elizabeth should know better than to think he's worried about getting sick or infected as a result of being close to her. there's a million things he would like to spit out in response, but he decides to give her time to say her piece. when she talks about how much it has been seemingly healing, he can just be heard sighing right into the phone for an extended period of time. ]
This city is going crazy. I was joking earlier, but we need to seriously pack our bags up and move the fuck out. Screw house hunting here.
[ at least he's dialed back on chewing her a new one. for now. consider it an intermission. ]
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I doubt whatever happened to me was a cause of this city. You can't go blame a construct for ... for whatever is going on. [ Elizabeth likes it here — it's the only place that felt like home. She was always finding small businesses that she didn't recall or getting lost in the city. It was like permanent wanderlust. It was definitely more to her than just a city. ] Unless you plan on sending us to Paris, moving out of the city isn't the answer. We don't — we don't even know the market outside of Recollé!
[ Why are they arguing about this. Elizabeth realizes how silly it sounds. ]
I messed up, Bigby. It wouldn't be the first time. I make mistakes and — I was just scared. If you want to pin me to a cross, fine, but how would you have reacted if I woke you up in the morning and showed you this... hideous thing on my back?
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eh. it's Bigby she is dealing with. she had to have expected this to a degree. ]
This city and this goddamn, stupid fucking app. You're trying to tell me this isn't connected to the other people talking about remembering weird shit? [ and he hasn't even been made aware of the Striders and their eyes all morphing to different colors. or Grell's, for that matter. funny that the detective is being left out of EVERYTHING. >:( ] We don't know where this ends. We still have no idea what even caused the blackout that caused the accident in the first place. But whatever you say, Liz. Sounds like nothing but excuses to me.
[ that was said with a particular bite in his words. sorry, bb. she talks of being scared and apologizing and he tries to compose himself for the umpteenth time. it's tough, grasping his emotions when he's been frustrated at any and everything for the past week. ]
No way of telling, sweetheart. That's not how things played out. I instead found out over the phone at least a week later.
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As Bigby says they're excuses, she's silent. ]
Right. You're right.
[ She should have told him and that reality sinks against her chest. She isn't crying, nothing like that but she feels as if she truly did something she regrets. She can't take it back and there is no "what if" in this scenario. ]
It was wrong of me to keep it to myself when you could have helped. Found an answer together.
[ He's frustrated and she's trying to accept her responsibility. ]
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[ Bigby hates yelling at Liz. he yells at virtually everyone in his life but has always made a special exception when it comes to his wife and daughter. in the past month, he's yelled at both of them. maybe not directly to Jade, but she sure as hell felt the brunt of his anger when it came to Tablegate 2017. now it was Elizabeth's chance to feel it dealt out to her, which is just. unfortunate. for all parties involved.
this conversation exhausts him to an undeniable degree. almost more than the accident and everything that followed. he isn't tired of talking to Elizabeth, but he sure as shit is tired of feeling like this way already. ]
I'm not... I'm not doing or saying this shit to bury you any deeper. I know this affects you more than me. I just― fuck.
[ another moment or three of silence. ]
Let's go out for dinner tonight. You and me. We need to talk with less... this going on. As long as you still have an appetite, I mean.
[ just one last prod at her thinking he was referring to her as "contagious". please. ]
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[ They had been through worse and this is what Elizabeth feels she has to find out alone? It ate her up for the short few days that she couldn't tell him. The fear she had when she was taking a shower, worried he'd see it and rise questions. So... this is how it happens — a spur of the moment confession. ]
You're worried. You don't have answers and I didn't think you would. No one does. I'm not exactly proud of what happened, but... I'm not going to make excuses and fight you on it. You're understandably upset. I'd be so furious if the roles were reversed.
[ They're quiet and Bigby's suggestion of dinner nearly makes her choke on her words - ]
W-What? You're not joking, are you?
[ ... ]
I'm starving.